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Future Hope "If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." -- Antoine de Saint-Exupery Avoid the Chit Chat Americans love to talk. Americans also love to be talked to -- listening to the TV or the stereo or talk radio -- anything so that there's no silence. Silence we seem to delegate to those few days a year when we get back to nature. In conversations, especially, there's a real fear of silence, an awkwardness that sort of permeates the in between spaces where there is no one talking and most people will do anything possible to fill up that silence with noise regardless of whether or not it's going to damage their chances of selling their product or service. Detailed Criteria 'The devil is in the details.' It's an English idiom I'm sure you've experienced, or at least heard before. This implies that the small things that you weren't expecting or that seemed inconsequential, can sometimes hold up everything. The same goes for the elicitation of criteria. Sometimes we need to explore and delve into the details and definitions of their criteria in order to fully understand them. All About Integrity "The most important persuasion tool you have in your entire arsenal is integrity." --Zig Ziglar Luck Is What You Make It "Luck? I don't know anything about luck. I've never banked on it, and I'm afraid of people who do. Luck to me is something else: Hard work -- and realizing what is opportunity and what isn't." --Lucille Ball Being Grateful "It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude." -Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich or Financial Success Through Creative Thought Persuading Elegantly "Human subtlety will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple, or more direct than does Nature, because in her inventions, nothing is lacking and nothing is superfluous." --Leonardo da Vinci Charting Your Self Persuasion Territory "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Howard Thurman Question Frames I'm sure you'll get this quickly because you're all such smart folks out there, I want you to spell the word 'folk' three times right now in your mind. Just spell the word 'folk' three times as fast as you can. If I Were A Hammer "When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and your discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be." -Patanjali (author and yogi) The Core Exposed "It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction." -- Pablo Picasso Let's Get Emotional Forget about appealing to your prospects and clients with logic. Sales is all about appealing to emotions and logic comes a (way) distant second. To illustrate my point, I'm going to tell you a story about some college students who figured this out and put it to the test. The Persuasion Zone We've all heard of athletes who say they were really in 'the zone'. The zone is that perfect point where whatever we're doing is accomplished with ease and elegance whether it be playing an instrument, driving down the perfect road at the perfect speed on the perfect motorcycle, or selling to one prospect after another. The 'Misery is Not Miserly' Effect The John F. Kennedy School for Government at Harvard University recently released a study that found that even momentary sadness causes people to increase spending. The Art of Gratitude "It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude." -Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich or Financial Success Through Creative Thought The Consequences of Refusing to Persuade "No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority." --Joseph Addison What's Going On? "You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of." - Jim Rohn The Art of Procrastination "We shall never have more time. We have, and always had, all the time there is. No object is served in waiting until next week or even until tomorrow. Keep going... Concentrate on something useful." --Arnold Bennett Inoculating Yourself Against Rejection We all had them as children -- those painful shots that prevented all sorts of nasty diseases. Now that we're grown ups, we know why we needed them, but when we were little kids, it didn't make any difference because the only thing we understood was that they hurt and left us sort. Unstick Your Thoughts With Attitude I AM YOUR ATTITUDE! I AM YOUR MASTER. I can make you rise or fall. I can make you a success or failure. I can work for or against you. I control your feelings and actions. I can make your heart sing with happiness. I can make you wretched, dejected, or morbid. I can make you angry and resentful. I can make you lonely, discouraged or depressed. I can make you sick, listless. I can be a shackle, heavy and burdensome. I can be a prism's hue, dancing bright and colorful. I can be nurtured and grown to be beautiful. I can never be removed, only replaced. I AM YOUR ATTITUDE! (author unknown) Are you Shoving Your Prospects Down a Rabbit Hole? Former students of mine, without naming names, have gone on to attempt to teach criteria elicitation. For what it's worth, this synthesis of a very complex body of knowledge down to one question, is absolutely fine if you're not interested in working with high end and affluent clientle. Avoiding the Pack Mentality Yeah, I know, things are getting expensive. Grocery prices are soaring because gas prices are soaring because there's a war going on because a fear of scarcity has been instilled in us because . . . well, it's complicated, right? Regardless of the reasons, I get back to the point that things are expensive. Avoiding the Pack Mentality Yeah, I know, things are getting expensive. Grocery prices are soaring because gas prices are soaring because there's a war going on because a fear of scarcity has been instilled in us because . . . well, it's complicated, right? Regardless of the reasons, I get back to the point that things are expensive. Drinking from a Fire Hose I'm so happy when a new "school year" begins. Every year around this time I begin a new cycle of classes and open the program up to new students. And every year around this time I'm thrilled to find so many people so eager to learn persuasion and eager to begin to put it to use in their lives. And every year around this time I get a few students who are so eager that they work themselves into a bit of a frenzy. As one client put it, "I kind of feel like I'm drinking water out of a fire hose." Persuasion And Your Brain "The existence of forgetting has never been proved: We only know that some things don't come to mind when we want them." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche Bound to Buy Binds are a fascinating technique which I love to use in persuasion and which should be used sparingly, adding seasoning to your arsenal of tools. Persuasion Without Thought There's a bumper sticker I saw recently that said, "Don't believe everything you think." Ironically, I found this oddly thought provoking. Something about it resonated with me. There's something to the idea that thinking is a little bit overrated. Using the Law of Resonance Not long ago I heard a story that had something to do with one of the natural laws of the universe -- the Law of Resonance. This is similar but not exactly like the Law of Attraction which says that what you put out there is what you're going to attract into your life. Like attracts like. The Persuasive Power of Focus If you're anything like me, your life is full of distractions. From every direction we are bombarded with one thing or another. Just in the course of this paragraph, I've had one 'new e-mail' alert, some instant messages from my assistant, in the other room I can hear my kids arguing over the remote, my dog wants to go for a walk, I'm a little thirsty, the phone will ring any second. . . One simple paragraph can be exhausting in light of all the other things that are vying for attention. Enlarging the Frames "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances - to choose one's own way." - Victor Frankl Productivity and Persuasion When we learn to persuade, we have the added bonus of being able to use our persuasion skills on ourselves. We are able to naturally accomplish anything when we can self-persuade. Reframe Your Bad Habits Into Good Some people bite their fingernails. Some twirl their hair or tap their fingers on the table. Some people have a habit they call 'smoking', which is not only a habit, but an addiction and creates a physical/psychological/mental need that can only be satiated with more cigarettes. Getting Over The Victim Mentality "Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander." --Holocaust Museum, Washington, DC Watching What You Say Language, like persuasion, is an art. It's an art that can be mangled, yes. And as with any art, unless you're a prodigy, as Mozart was with music, as H.P. Lovecraft was with poetry, as Pablo Picasso was with painting, then most likely you will have to practice to be good at the art of language. Winning Through Framing Has this ever happened to you? You're driving down the freeway, maybe a little too fast, maybe not, and those red and blue lights begin to flash in your rear view mirror. So you pull over and prepare your papers. . . license, registration, proof of insurance. And the law enforcement officer makes his way to your window, quickly so as to not waste your time, and politely says, 'Hi. . .I'm just wondering if you . . .I'm so sorry to bother you. But would you mind showing me your license and registration? I think there might have been a slight infraction of the law and I'd really like to clear it up if you don't mind. I'm so sorry for the inconvenience.' Two Sides of the Same Coin "You will make more friends in a week by getting yourself interested in other people than you can in a year by trying to get other people interested in you." --Arnold Bennett adventures in sound As you listen to what I'm going to tell you, you'll begin to hear the way in which you can use these words to describe most anything. You can orient your phrases and the way in which you talk such that people will resonate with what you're saying very well. If you make your voice calm and smooth you'll probably have an even greater appeal as you verbalize the message you want to get across. You can tune in to what people are telling you as well, becoming more empathic with them and helping them to understand exactly your meaning to all the words that you have. going the extra mile for your affluent clientle I recently read a story about the Ritz Carlton Hotel that got me to thinking about how to really cater to and take care of a wealthy client, thereby keeping them interested and connected to you and your product or service. further adventures in organization If you know me at all, you know I'm a busy man--from teaching my weekly coaching calls, giving seminars, working up lesson plans for the Persuasion Factor to spending time with my family and friends and working with the religious organization I am involved in. I wish there were more hours in a day. On top of all that, I'm undergoing some personal transitions that require a whole other list of things to do. . . With all this I know the main thing that has kept me on target has been the ability to organize. softening language I'm curious about something and I wonder if you wouldn't mind clearing it up. . . personal persuasion In business, we have rules of decorum, obviously, but I am of the opinion that some rules were meant to be bent. Not broken entirely, but molded and bent to suit your persuasive needs. Curiosity Cultivation I recently came across the following list written/compiled by David Heenan: Ten Keys to Life Fulfillment: 1. Listen to your heart 2. Take one step at a time 3. Deliver daily 4. Maintain a maverick mind-set 5. Focus, focus, focus 6. Never stop learning 7. Build a brain trust (network of knowledgeable people) 8. Reinvent Yourself 9. Sell Yourself 10. Start now! History--it's All Frames "If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail." --Abraham H. Maslow More Linguistic Pitfalls Well. . .it seems like some of my readers have been paying careful attention. I like that. A while back I wrote an article about the eight most common avoidable pitfalls in language--but, if, try and might. Hey, that's not eight! What are the other four? Several people commented on my blog that I was utilizing the open loop method of persuasion by saying there were eight, and only revealing four. Was this intentional? Maybe. Backing The Ambulance Up To The Door: The 'away' Perspective Before I get into the 'away' perspective in the towards/away continuum, I want to make a distinction between a truly negative personality and a person who is inclined towards moving away from a problem. Persuasive Self Critique My students often request that I listen to their speeches and presentations to comment on what I see as their strengths and weaknesses in their persuasion skills. Unfortunately, I haven't discovered a way to exist without sleep and I don't have enough hours in a day to do everything that I want to do and everything that is requested of me. Getting Deeper Into Persuasion Continuums I recently wrote an article about "Persuasion Continuums" which is one of the slickest tools you can use in persuasion. I'm back for more and am thrilled to give a little bit of a deeper look at this phenomenal tool. Persuading Kinesthetically: Touchy Feely Here's part three in the four part series of articles about the representational systems of communication. Previously I wrote an overview of the different systems and how we can use these to gain rapport for easier persuasion and then went into more detail about visual language. Well, with a title containing the words 'touchy feely' this can only be about kinesthetic language, words that describe things in a way so as to be touching and feeling. The Use Of Scapegoats In Persuasion There was a period of time there where it seemed like every single car I'd see had a "United We Stand" bumper sticker. They were implying that standing together was our only salvation. After all, what happens if we don't stand united? We fall divided. Hocus Pocus: Reframing Sugar As I was surfing the web today I came across a banner ad that said, "Skip artificials. Go natural. Sugar: sweet by nature. Only 15 calories per teaspoon." Seven Steps To Not Becoming A Millionaire 1. Wait for approval from society, from your family, from your friends, from your colleagues. Mastering Presupposition At the core of presupposition is the idea that we can assume a mental position or thought which our prospects or clients must take for granted in order for everything else that we say to make sense without us actually having to name the core concept. Pumping Up Your Persuasion Muscle I'm a new man. Over the last few years I've shed over one hundred and forty pounds of unwanted fat. I have a new attitude toward food and have learned to love the exercising. Getting Into The Flow Of Affluence As a recent addition to my coaching club, I've added one-on-one calls. Together, my students and I have delved into all kinds of stuff from persuasion and affluence attraction to more spiritually oriented matters to, you name it. It's open, personal access in which my members come to me with things that maybe they're stuck on or things they just want to get better at. Trying On Someone Else's Skin Harper Lee wrote in "To Kill a Mockingbird", "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." We've all heard that you can't truly know someone until you walk a mile in his shoes. . . .well, this technique is another figurative exploration in working with the energy of our prospects. Starting From The Beginning Persuasion is, at its core, the study of human nature. Human nature is sometimes predictable, sometimes not so predictable. We are complex organisms and even if all things were equal (environment, education, parenting, nutrition, finances) there would be some of us who would achieve and some of us who would not. Motivation Through Adversity Ever since I can remember, starting from when I was a young boy, I've struggled with my weight. I was stuck in a body that didn't represent my mind's view of myself, but did represent a weakness I had in relation to food. It always brought to mind the Andrew Carnegie quote, "People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents." I knew that this struggle was holding me back from total mastery and it frustrated me to no end. To Be (sneaky) Or Not To Be (sneaky) A student of mine recently called me out on an example of presupposition I used wherein I used the relationship between a student and teacher to illustrate my point. She suggested (nicely) that maybe my use of the student/teacher relationship was a little sneaky and maybe I was trying to persuade my students. Practical Persuasion: Ways We Learn One of my newer students asked me on a recent call, "Kenrick, how are you able to keep track of all of the different language patterns and persuasion techniques that you know and use? I mean, each time we're on one of these coaching calls, it seems like you're not only using new techniques, but combining two or three or more techniques at once. Sometimes I can't even remember the first step. How can I remember to remember?' Kicking Negativity "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." --Seneca, Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD Speeding Up Rapport With Stories So say you're face to face with a brand new prospect. They've heard a little bit about you, your reputation, what kind of a person you are and yet, maybe they still have some defenses which you are going to need to overcome before rapport has been established and they can feel good trusting you completely. Organize The Clutter, Organize Your Mind "Three Rules of Work: Out of clutter find simplicity; From discord find harmony; In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." -Albert Einstein Persuading Through Personality Segmentation Parts. We are all made up of parts. A part of me wants a bagel with cream cheese, but another part of me really wants to continue to become healthier. Part of me wants to go take a nap, but this other part wants to finish the project I started. We divide ourselves into parts as a way to talk about our experiences. Who's To Blame? "All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won't succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy." -Wayne Dyer The Art Of Change 'Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.' --Albert Einstein Stratagem And Persuasion "So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will win a hundred times in a hundred battles. If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you win one and lose the next. If you do not know yourself or your enemy, you will always lose." -Ancient Chinese Proverb Visual Represetational Systems: See The Light In previous articles I've written about the representational systems we all use in relation to communication and how we see the world (visual, auditory, and kinesthetic being the most widely used) and the value it has in gaining rapport with your affluent prospects and clients. In this article, I want to focus our sites on visual language. Attack Of The Sales Zombies Technology is both liberating and somewhat of a pain. I've been updating my computer again lately and have made a number of trips to my local computer super store for equipment. Usually I know what I need, I get in, find it, and leave. But on occasion, when I'm trying to find a more expensive item, I have an experience which I call 'Attack of the Sales Zombies'. Obstacles Into Opportunities "It still holds true that man is most uniquely human when he turns obstacles into opportunities." --Eric Hoffer Visualization And Imagination "Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." --Wayne Dyer The Relativity Of Luxury "The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury." --Charlie Chaplin Leave It To The Future Future pacing is a phenomenal strategy that reminds your prospect of all the reasons they made the decision to purchase or sign up with you, and transfers all of those reasons to the future, reminding them why, through triggers and signals that you will have installed. Appealing To Emotions In Business Here's a wild suggestion: I think rationality is overrated. Yup. It's true. I realize it's important to have a good foundation with your feet planted solidly on the ground, but rationality has taken over the realm of business (though it has not yet taken over the world of romantic relationships. . .) and we've lost an integral part of ourselves that makes us appealing: emotionality. We have moved from mom and pop businesses into the age of faceless corporations and in doing so, things have become so sterile. The Double Edged Sword: Maintaining Boundaries In Rapport "It is the business of thought to define things, to find the boundaries; thought, indeed, is a ceaseless process of definition. It is the business of art to give things shape." -Vance Palmer Persuasion Metaphors From Around The World While the concept of 'energy' may seem new-agey, I personally find it integral to the understanding of self, which is the first step in understanding persuasion. The Forbidden As Persuasion 'Forbid us something, and that thing we desire.' - Geoffrey Chaucer Persuading With The Awareness Pattern "The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." -Henry Miller Repetition In Threes: Soothing Persuasion "Rhythm is something you either have or don't have, and when you have it, you have it all over." -Elvis Presley The Courage To Master Your Fears "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear."--Mark Twain Blame As Persuasion: Use With Caution I have written previously about the term 'everything happens for a reason' as a technique to utilize the inherent trust many people have in this concept. I also wrote about how superstition can be a powerful persuasive tool. If you've read those articles and put the tools to work in your life, you already understand the power they hold. Your Own Personal Genie: Creating Your Universe In Pictures Are there things in life that you have wanted but which have eluded you? Material things, physical attributes, human connections-that for one reason or another you've simply been unable to achieve? Adjusting Your Lens For Maximum Persuasion So now we have some framing basics. By no means can framing be summed up in three little articles, but in that, there's a beginning foundation from which to build our persuasion arsenals. Real Resolution It's that time of year again--time to recreate ourselves anew, time to create a map of what we want for ourselves, of ourselves, for the new year. I love this time of year because I love self improvement on any level. It's an optimistic time and a time when we realize that we have an incredible potential to create what we want. Calibrating For Rapport When I was a young man my first job in sales was selling gym memberships. One of the trainers that worked at this gym was a great guy, funny, sociable, and well liked, but he had tremendous difficulty communicating with certain types of people. My favorite thing about him was that he was always himself. This character trait had the downside of putting him against a wall where he became ineffective in his job. Yes! "All that man achieves, and all that he fails to achieve is a direct result of his own thoughts." -James Allen The Beginning: Setting Frames Right From The Start How do we begin a presentation? If you were sitting down right now to talk to somebody, how would you start your presentation? Using Superstition To Persuade: "there Are No Accidents" 'Very superstitious, writing's on the wall Very superstitious, ladders bout' to fall Thirteen month old baby, broke the lookin' glass Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past Persuasion Through Competition Working out has become a very important part of my life in the last year, and in this "new" environment (new to me) I have had the opportunity to study a different side of human nature. One of my favorite things about my gym is that it's not a meat market. There aren't mirrors everywhere and people strutting around wanting to see and be seen. I've made some interesting observations lately. Something I noticed recently has started me thinking about persuasion and competition. Learning Persuasion I had a student ask me recently, "Kenrick, how do you keep track of all of these persuasion strategies? Every time we have a conference call or seminar, you pull out another technique adding to the dozens and dozens of techniques we've already learned. I can't even remember to use the 'unconscious hello'." Hopping Into Someone Else's Skin Harper Lee wrote in To Kill a Mockingbird, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view...until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." And we've all heard the saying, you can't know a person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. This exercise is a way to figuratively step into someone else's shoes, into their skin, and create instant rapport and understanding. Short Circuiting Buyer's Remorse Every single human being on the planet today wants to believe that they have done something of value for themselves when they've made a purchase, and that they've used their ability to choose well and make a good decision. And as a result of this they want to know they're not going to feel bad about the choices they've made. Persuasion Continuums: The Key To Your Prospect's Particulars Recently I heard a pretty funny joke: 'I have the idea that one person's dream is another person's nightmare. For example, it's my dream to sleep with Cindy Crawford. I'll bet you anything that would be her nightmare.' Eliciting Peak Emotional States for Persuasive Power We've all had this experience: a song comes on the radio and we're transported back to a time and place ten, fifteen, twenty years ago or longer. Maybe it was a song that reminded us of a time when we were struggling through a broken heart, or maybe it was just the opposite, the soundtrack for our first true love. Pure Persistence Power Today I start with a quote by Dale Carnegie. "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." Negating Words: But I really like you, but. . . Is it true? Does Everything Happen for a Reason? An acquaintance called a while ago and said, 'Do you remember the conversation we had about Africa? Well, you're not going to believe this, but I just got an e-mail informing me that I've won an international lottery originating in Africa. I'm convinced everything happens for a reason, aren't you?' An Overwhelming Attack of Friendlies I like the way Abraham Lincoln said it best, "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?" Seeing What Sticks: The Old Fashioned Way to Sell How do you know when your pasta is done cooking? You take one noodle and throw it up against the wall. If it sticks, it's done. The old-fashioned sales technique of 'features and benefits' makes me think of throwing a whole pot of noodles against the wall to see what sticks. Why not narrow it down to your client's criteria instead of taking a shot in the dark and throwing everything you can at it? The First Step of Persuasion: Create Your Universes "Civilization advances as more and more of life's essentials are absorbed by the unconscious." -Diane Ackerman, "An Alchemy of Mind: The Marvel and Mystery of the Brain" Returning to Bondage "The average age of the world's greatest civilizations has been two hundred years. These nations have progressed through this sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; from spiritual faith to great courage; from courage to liberty; from liberty to abundance; from abundance to selfishness; from selfishness to complacency; from complacency to apathy; from apathy to dependence; from dependency back again into bondage." --Sir Alex Fraser Tyler (1742-1813) Scottish jurist and historian
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